I am starting a series of poems titled “The Attempted Domestication of Feral Kittens.” People think the title is too long but I like it because it flips the bird to being told that you need to fit into someones idea of being acceptable, not too spicy, loud, smart, different. We are spoon fed palatable versions of women through advertising, media, religion, fashion and culture. They are domestication tactics that undermine our paths towards our true selves.
1. of or relating to the home, the household, household affairs, or the family:
2. devoted to home life or household affairs.
3. no longer wild; tame; domesticated :
4. of or relating to one’s own or a particular country as apart from other countries:
5. indigenous to or produced or made within one’s own country; not foreign; native:
6. a hired household servant.
7. something produced or manufactured in one’s own country.
8. domestics, household items made of cloth, as sheets, towels, and tablecloths.
Of course there is nothing wrong with being devoted to home and household. This is where we grow our children but it can happen that woman become less empowered to act beyond the home, become more isolated, easier to influence and financially dependent.
I am not a guru but my biggest piece of advice I give to my daughter and to any other young woman if they asked, and there is no reason they would ask me, is no matter how good your relationship is, get in a position where you have the means to support yourself. I am also fond of expounding on how we need well educated women. We are only a couple of generations away from having got the right to vote and access to higher education. I hate seeing it taken for granted. Education helps with understanding where we came from and arms against any backsliding. Alas, its not for everyone.
If I never see another picture of Harvey Weinstein, Bill Cosby, Donald Trump or any other of the long list of men who surpassed being bad dates as outright predators and criminals, I will be pleased.
Consider the little girls that took singing, acting, dancing lessons. They practiced, tried out and competed. They made their bodies fit the desired profile. They got the skills and the courage to pursue the dream with real talent and then they got to the bridge ready to cross and with one foot forward the big ugly troll came out wanting a massage in his room in exchange for the right. It’s a particularly ugly physical and psychological domestication tactic.
The woman in this ad is sitting between the knees of a man, kind of like a dog. She is a good girl!
It is shocking that most adult women have a METOO story but consider that a lot of us had METOO stories before puberty.
If I follow my wild nomadic dream and hike a remote trail or camp by myself, how will I defend myself against a roving horny troll?
Why should anyone have to think things like that? I want to holler a big WTF!!!
So hurray for women who despite having to consider if where they walk at night puts them at risk of rape, (grandmothers, middle aged, millennials, teenagers and children), continue to pursue self actualization, education, creative productive lives and support others in doing the same.
Keep your mustang, wolf, raptor, blue whale, feral hearts.
May your International Women’s Day bring you insight, focus and courage.
I leave you with a suggestion to watch “The Ascent of Women.” on Netflix.
Thanks for any likes, shares and especially comments